2023 Audacy, Inc. All rights reserved. They were so cool. Theyre both older than me. Its like, its a family, its a family. I think its a natural way theyve survived being in an orphanage etc. martha beck two wives. So the first thing that happens in the morning, well Karen gets up with the baby because she gets up at like, I dont know, two or something. Rowan Mangan: 3. Which is why you are our favorite person under the sun. I think you feel this way about sexuality, Glennon. But now what they really discovered was that codependency is the way people typically act when theyre around an addict that they love. Yeah. Let's Go! But then a friend of mine came from Australia and we were just like, So, this is the part of the day where we sit down and talk about our codependency., Rowan Mangan: It can feel like exhaustion. Martha Beck: Let tell you something about growing up Mormon. Is there something youve been feeling bewildered about? But the first thing that comes to mind is something that happened several decades ago, but the echo of it still resonates. They would sing songs in Russian. Have you seen these things? He really needs to work on his codependency. It is evolutionarily essential. To say something happened does not prove it happened; to say one has physical evidence is not to show that evidence. Thats what we want to talk about. What is Polyamory - and how Martha, Rowan, and Karen make their relationship work. Questions? Her newest book, The Way of Integrity, I love this book. Rowan Mangan: Wow. They found in the 80s when men were trying to step up and help more with housework, that a lot of the wives, when they would do studies on households, would shame and basically belittle and attack the husbands for doing the housework wrong. You managed to not only lift it, but make it make you fly. And now Im afraid she has like a gym phobia and will never work out again. Martha Beck: And one day she came to me and said, Marty, I need to talk to you about something. I was like, all right. And that gets applied to womens lives much more broadly because if were all running ourselves ragged, at a certain point, were not good to anyone. Martha Beck: Keep these comming, 2023 Podvine, LTD. All rights reserved. Whereas Im like, Ive read 16 books. Podcast episodes are available each week right after the latest episode of We Own This City on HBO and HBO Max. And theyre always focused on the sex and they always think that its like kinky sex. Do you like blue cheese? Writer Podcaster. No BS. Rowan Mangan: Its returning to the village. I was made to love. The Chalene Show is life coaching, personal development, nutrition, exercise, Earshot is going seasonal, welcome to our first season Promise Me. Top tips & practical steps for diet, fitness, organization, self improvement & more. I mean, youve had plenty of experiences this way. Its just because she had her kids really young so its going to surprise you when you hear how old. Its non judgment. Rowan Mangan: Each story takes on something essential about California -- its progressiveness, its reputation as a home for dreamers and schemers, its heartbreaking inequality, its varied and diverse communities, its unique combination of dense cities and wild places -- and each season breaks it down into multiple 20-40 minute episodes that will be released sequentially. Martha Beck: Youre absolutely right. Yeah? You can follow us to get updates, hear funny snippets and outtakes, and chat with other fans of the show. Right. Do you remember? Rowan Mangan: How easy is it to make a promise? To give you the best possible experience, this site uses cookies. [Music fades] Hi, Im Martha Beck! This double date is a first for us because We Can Do Hard Things listeners, Martha and Rowan are missing one person, who is Karen, because Martha and Rowan and Karen are in a polyamorous relationship. And it was awesome. Its often in spouse relationships. Trinity time. Things are going to change. I would also say our mornings are pretty ritualistic where whoever wakes up first usually takes the dogs out, makes the coffee. So he calls it wine time. But thats a whole another thing. See you next time. And then whenever this spider wants a snack, it can go down, inject its mouth parts into the living fly and suck out some life essence. Rowan Mangan: 3. So, yeah. Karen is the most counter cultural person. And whats so interesting. And guess who gets to do the things that she doesnt want to do and doesnt have to do, this guy. Once you have something that you're putting into the world which . Martha Beck: And that is the way that jealousy was framed in this book about polyamory. Write by: . Its so funny that our brains automatically need to know that part. Because were-. And I was like, No, we have to have a group thread and youve got to call me sometimes and youve got to tell me that your day is going fine because I was really scared that they were the unit and I was the third wheel coming in. And that was really scary to me because it didnt feel solid. Do you guys have any rituals like that in your day? The heartbeat of OzHarvest. What we realize. And then you just kind of encounter someone who is already a spider. And its pervasive. You get all frantic and then you And Im like, I do. , This weeks Wild Inventures letter is an embarra, I did a little time travel recently, thanks to my, Martha and Ro are back with another episode of Bew, "This special BeWild Files episode of Bewildered i, This weeks Wild Inventures letter is all about, RESEARCH. So that everything that feels natural to them is normal, and in every way, and they want to do accounting or I dont know good examples but like And then it must be so hard to understand people. Rowan Mangan: I'm Ro: a writer, a podcaster, a mom, a food enthusiast. I want to know them please. And that is so different from what happened for us. Are you excited? Row co-hosts to Bewildered podcast, which all of you must listen to. About The Show I told them as they grew that I was going to write a self or a parenting book called Crawl Over There and Get Your Own Damn Bottle. And she was like, I cant believe these men I date. I like what Rowan said earlier. I also I have to put in a shout for my kid in-law. So they come up and snuggle with me. And like we planned the day around these times where we would get to sit close together on the couch. Dr. Martha Beck is a New York Times bestselling author, life coach, and speaker. * How many virtuous mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Can you talk to us about fight? Rowan Mangan: Rows bomb came to visit, she was in the guest room. The hilarious moment Martha, Karen, and Rowan told their friends they were now a throuple.4. Rowan Mangan: I think its just like that thing where I dont I think its just the way that humans sort of come apart and come together clump and everything is always unique. So shes up with the baby and at 9:00 am, we try to be up and have enough caffeine in us to be functioning. And thats better for all the bears. And she says, Okay, so this is Because Karen doesnt care. Yeah. Happenings? And then Im just going to become friends with her and be part of her life. We hope youre enjoying Bewildered. Exactly, me too. Does queerness make the transition to this kind of way of love easier? Rowan Mangan: And I never know, like it could go anywhere. Dr. Martha Beck is a New York Times bestselling author, life coach, and speaker. That, but also then with a little murder afterwards. Then her mother says, Oh your father and I never felt the need for that.. And then she tucks us all in and shes wasting away, shes got several terminal illnesses, shes depressed. The pandemic actually helped some people, I think, because when you are on your own for long enough, you start to feel what is natural for you. Email us! It is a much more subtle thing. So I was interviewing women and one of them said she went to her religious authority and she said, My family makes me do everything for them. So, I mean, its hard to avoid the fact that this is a bit of a gendered thing. Virtue. And we said, we shouted down, we werent that worried to be quite honest, even though she was making a terrible racket. Bucephalus, the god of codependency. Glennon and Abby interview their favorite person and co-host: Amanda Doyle! Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Shame. And when you say, Okay, wheres the limit of my resentment? 1. Excellent. Because well have really different experiences of that because you had already sort of, and youre older than me and so you were coming out in a different time and everything. Is he going to be upset? Yeah, exactly. Rowan Mangan: Oh, now that sounds bad. Thats what a good codependent. martha beck two wivesmr patel neurosurgeon cardiff 27 februari, 2023 . I've spent a readerly life, which has led me to a writerly life. Im going to spend a ton of money to go on Martha Becks-. And you can automatically see why Bev refers to herself as a mother. Martha Beck: What happens when you don't deliver? Shes like, I just feel like this fire hose of love, like maybe its sisterly. And I was looking at her and I was like, It is not sisterly, youre in love.. A huge lesson for couples based on the revolutionary ways they deal with conflict, jealousy, and daily rituals to stay close. I dont have the logistical competency, but go, go ask questions. Its way out in the bush in South Africa and theyre lions and everything. Why do you follow the culture when you see what the culture has done, right? I'm currently redrafting a novel about Ireland, magic and the dangers of charm, which is due to be completed in late 2018. Is it two of you that start fighting and then someone else referees? Rowan Mangan: In a sort of pop psychology sort of way. At a certain point, I get angry. Relationships with depression are like any other. Rowan Mangan: Oh, my pedestal. Salty, klutzy and Aussie, Ro co-hosts the Bewildered podcast with her wife, Martha Beck. Okay. And it looks, as I said, like a lovely relationship, but its really only lovely for the spider. And Abby was wondering if, tell them what you were saying this morning. Martha Beck: Photograph: Teri Pengilley. Wow. Martha Beck: Martha Beck: Rowan Mangan: Is that when I started thinking about doing a podcast on codependency, I remembered this thing that we did. Can I tell you about Karen telling her mother whos in her eighties about the three of us? Also later, you probably, Ive never mentioned this, I went to Harvard. And then we work and do things. And the TV was on and it was a documentary about bears, which the narrator pronounced bear. What is Polyamory and how Martha, Rowan, and Karen make their relationship work. And so its just, honestly, its the best case scenario. Lets say youre a baby, youre a child, everythings great. And so in a weird way, we were in a non-culturated bubble and it really helped us come together and bond for those first couple of years. What is Polyamory and how Martha, Rowan, and Karen make their relationship work. And theres been articles in the New York Times about throuples and theyve even said I remember one of them even said, obviously, everyone just wants to know how the sex works. Thats interesting. They like you to be codependent. Like I know from watching my kids, I have two, a non-binary child and a daughter and theyve both found amazing partners. IG: @rowan_mangan Rowan Mangan: Rowan Mangan: Melbourne, Australia. Its very spiritual. But Im recognizing more and more their entitled behaviour and how I have played into it in my guilt over not being their biological mom and having taken them from the country of their birth. Rowan Mangan: And if youre listening to this and you think, Im trying to figure something out. What do you think Ive read on like nine different philosophies, and I think if we just bring this from that style and this from this style. They dont look like theyre aerodynamic or good for your back. So Im doing this with like 15 pounds and its killing me. And Oprah Winfrey has called her one of the smartest women I know. But then when she came and saw our family, there was no discussion after that. Photo by Rowan Mangan . So, yeah, her superhuman strength is becoming a huge issue as she approaches two years old. Martha Beck: The book, which was published last spring, was a New York Times bestseller and the first offering under Maria Shriver's book imprint, The Open Field/Viking. And Row looked at me like, Why did you have to bring that up? Yes. And I wrote out a nice little guide to submitting your questions. 4. 2. Martha Beck: Were going to go down and Row and I just crafted it, right. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science, and Oprah Winfrey has called her one of the smartest women I know. Her newest book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller. What else? And so I dont know that theres anything we are doing that would even apply-. Being gay when we were growing or when I was growing up, it was so weird that they wouldnt even put it on. It involved like sitting close together on the couch, the three of us. But Row was the one who was breaking the pattern, right. But when we talk about jealousy, most people, their reason I could never be in a polyamorous relationship because of jealousy. The rivalry between the Yorkish north and Lancastrian south h